Hell Hath No Fury Read online

  Scoop de Ville was more crowded than I’d ever seen it. Even more noticeable was the fact that most of the customers appeared to be over seventy. I huddled closer to the chief. “I can see why you chose this place. No one here will remember seeing us.” They’d be lucky to remember which flavor ice cream they chose by the time they returned home.

  He grinned. “You’re on to me. George Twisse has been hosting this senior citizens group on Sundays. There’s a bus that transports them over and picks them up after two hours. It’s called the Sundaes on Sunday program.”

  “Where’s Atticus?” I asked, as we joined the line of walkers and wheelchairs.

  “Back at the rescue center,” he said. “I only had him when I was on-duty.”

  “Any takers?”

  “Not yet, but I feel confident,” the chief said. “He put on a good show today.”

  “How does Achilles feel about your involvement with other dogs?” I teased. The chief had adopted the pug after taking him out on patrol as part of his animal adoption efforts.

  “He’s cool with it,” Chief Fox said. “He wants other dogs to find their forever homes too.”

  I inched closer to him as the line progressed. “I appreciate that you’re not trying to push us out into the open.”

  He studied me. “I have no interest in you leaving your job, Eden, especially now that I know what you really do. I’d be useless in your line of work.”

  “That’s not strictly true,” I said. “Your skills are transferable.”

  “I’ll be sure to put that on my resume.” He turned his attention to the large menu on the wall behind the counter. “What are you thinking?”

  “What thought is required? If there’s chocolate, nothing else exists.”

  “I’m a fan of pistachio myself,” he said.

  I wrinkled my nose. “Is that an Iowa thing?”

  He laughed. “Why do you assume everything you dislike is an Iowa thing?”

  “I don’t,” I objected. “I’ve just never met anyone with a penchant for pistachio.”

  “I guess in San Francisco they liked more decadent flavors like creme brûlée.”

  I gave it some thought. “My partner Fergus preferred vanilla bean. He wasn’t the most adventurous guy, despite his job.”

  “Not even hot fudge on it?”

  I shook my head. “Nope.”

  The elderly man in front of us turned slowly to look at us. “Plain vanilla? Good grief. I bet he only did it missionary style too.” He smiled. “I thought I heard your voice, Chief.”

  Chief Fox shook the old man’s hand. “How’s it going, Caleb? I didn’t realize that was you ahead of us.”

  “I wouldn’t notice me either with a pretty lady like that beside me.” Caleb offered his hand to me. “Glad to see the chief is settling in nicely.”

  “I’m a federal agent,” I said quickly. “We’re work colleagues.”

  Caleb winked. “If I had a work colleague that looked like you, I wouldn’t be getting much work done.”

  “Mr. Felton, it’s your turn,” a middle-aged woman called from further up the line. She seemed to be in charge of wrangling the seniors.

  Caleb cupped his hands around his mouth. “The works. If I die tonight, I want to know I lived life to the fullest.”

  The woman heaved a sigh. “Mr. Felton, no one is dying tonight.”

  “I might,” he said. “You never know when your time is going to be up. All part of the fun.”

  The woman gave him a patient smile. “You’re perfectly healthy.”

  “I won’t be after I inhale a sundae. My arteries are starting to clog in anticipation.”

  Chief Fox clapped the old man on the shoulder. “I’m right here if you find yourself in need of emergency services.”

  We finally placed our order and snagged a small table in the corner, away from the window.

  “Why no cone?” he asked. “I pegged you for a waffle cone kind of girl.”

  “I don’t like when it drips on my hands.” I spooned the smooth chocolate ice into my mouth and savored the rich flavor.

  He chuckled and held up his hand that clutched the cone. “You mean like this?” Green flecks of ice cream dotted his hand. “I don’t mind licking it off.” He held his hand closer to my mouth. “Unless you’d like to do the honors.”

  I recoiled. “That would involve tasting pistachio. No thanks.”

  “I’ll be sure to refrain from using my pistachio body spray now that I know.” The chief reached into his pocket. “Okay, now I need a napkin.” He frowned as he leaned to the side and pulled a white square from his pocket.

  “What’s the matter?” I asked.

  “I could’ve sworn I had my pocket watch in there earlier.”

  I stifled a laugh. “Pocket watch? Boy, you really did choose the right crowd to mix with.”

  “It belonged to my grandfather years ago,” the chief said. “I used to play with it as a kid, so he left it to me in his will.”

  I felt guilty for laughing at him when the watch had sentimental value. Some secret girlfriend I was. “When’s the last time you remember seeing it?”

  “Earlier today,” he said. “In the coffee shop when I took coins out of my pocket for the tip jar.”

  “If you want, we can retrace your steps when we’re finished. I’ll help you look for it.”

  His tongue darted out and swiped the mound of ice cream. “It’s fine. I bet I left it on my desk at work and forgot.”

  I devoured the last of my ice cream. “I’m happy to look there too.”

  His lips curved into a sensual smile. “Now that I think about it, I might have left it in my bedroom. Under the covers.”

  I licked the remnants of chocolate from my spoon. “Nice try.”

  He dabbed the tip of his ice cream cone on my nose. “Let’s see how long your tongue can stretch.”

  I snatched the napkin from the table and wiped it off.

  “Spoilsport,” he said.

  “I don’t want to strain it too early in our date,” I said. “It would be a shame for you to miss out.”

  Desire rippled across his handsome features. “You know, we can walk to my place from here. All side streets too. It’s dark. No one will see us.”

  The prospect of being alone with Sawyer Fox in his house held massive appeal right now. Still, I hesitated. “It might be a bad idea.”

  He grinned. “I didn’t say it was a good idea.”

  We ditched the remains of our ice cream and headed to the door. Caleb gave us an enthusiastic thumbs up as we passed by.

  “Maybe we should think about buying a carton of Ben & Jerry’s next time and eating it at your house,” I said.

  We rounded the corner and ambled down the quiet side street. There were no streetlights and the only sound was a television from the house across the street with the window open.

  “We’ll be dating ninjas,” he said. He cut me a glance. “Still, I’d prefer to be able to take you out. It won’t feel much like a real relationship if we’re constantly stuck in my house.”

  “Then it’ll just feel like we’re already married.” I clapped a hand over my mouth. It was meant to be a joke, but now I worried it sounded like I was getting way ahead of myself.

  To my relief, he chuckled. “That’s what I like about you, Fury. Always thinking ahead.” When he reached for my hand, I didn’t shrink away. It felt nice. Natural. Like our hands were always meant to be joined.

  “What if someone sees us?” I whispered. We turned down the next street and I surveyed the area for potential witnesses.

  “No one’s going to see us,” the chief said. “I jog along these streets all the time and it’s a snoozefest. No one’s ever around.” He tugged me closer. “We can even do this.” He kissed me softly on the lips and I practically melted.

  I placed a hand on his chest. “Let’s not tempt fate.”

  “Why not? Fate sure is tempting me.” He sauntered up the walkway to his house, a modes
t white bungalow with a wide front porch, black shutters, and a cheerful red door.

  Achilles greeted us when he opened the front door. The chief immediately bent down to rub the dog’s back. “Hey there, buddy. Did you miss me?”

  The pug panted as though he’d just finished a marathon. I crouched down to scratch the dog behind the ear. He was adorable and I liked that he and Princess Buttercup played nicely together. If you’re going to date someone, you prefer that your kids get along.

  “I straightened up,” he said. “Just in case.”

  “I’m glad I said yes,” I told him. “I’d hate for you to have gone to any trouble.”

  He shrugged. “I figured I’d go out and find another lucky lady to bring home.”

  I shoved him. “Bite your tongue, Sawyer Fox.”

  He laughed. “You know I only have eyes for you, Eden.”

  I stared at him for a long beat before I forced my gaze away. We’d only walked in the door. It was too soon to start ripping off clothes—not that I planned to be naked with him tonight. At some point tonight I’d be naked, but at home in my bathroom. Alone.

  I took a moment to digest the interior and get my mind out of the gutter. Brown leather sofa. Recliner where Achilles had chosen to settle. Reasonably sized television that suggested he watched occasionally but not obsessively. His house was an accurate reflection of him—tidy without feeling rigid. I knew if I spilled something on the rug, he wouldn’t have a heart attack.

  “Care for a drink?” he asked.

  I clutched my stomach. “Too full to fit anything else.”

  His eyes creased at the corners. “Same.” The chief extended a hand. “How about we search for my pocket watch?”

  I entwined my fingers with his. “How many years have you been using that line?”

  “First time. I like to keep things fresh.”

  “Do you want to run over to your office now and look for it?” I asked. “I don’t mind.”

  He squeezed my hand. “Are you nuts? I finally have you in my house. Do you think I’d be foolish enough to leave? No pocket watch is worth that sacrifice.”

  I didn’t object as we drifted toward the sofa. He tugged me closer to him and I inhaled the scent of fresh pine and sea salt. His lips found mine and I sank against his firm chest, wrapping my arms around him.

  “This is nice,” he murmured.

  “As long as no one spotted us coming in here,” I said. “How nosy are your neighbors?”

  “Relax, Eden. I triple-checked that the coast was clear.” He rested his forehead against mine. “It’s bad enough we have to sneak around. Let’s not make a mountain out of a molehill.”

  I bit my lip. I couldn’t tell him that it was a mountain when it came to my family. He thought the only reason I cared was the strict FBM regulations.

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “It stresses me out, that’s all.”

  He grinned. “You know what’s good for unwinding?”

  I played with the button on his shirt. “Gin?”

  He cupped the back of my head and kissed me, firmly and deeply. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation. I was glad I hadn’t strained my tongue on ice cream. This was much better.

  We moved our tongue tango to the sofa and I collapsed against a pillow. Kissing him was like being snuggled under a cozy blanket that heated my entire body. Suddenly I heard a snapping sound and the air in front of me changed. My face rubbed against a more abrasive surface.

  “You really need to shave,” I said. I opened my eyes to smile at him—and screamed.

  Chief Fox was gone. In his place was a small reddish-brown fox.

  Achilles began to bark wildly. I scampered away from the fox and fell off the sofa.

  “What’s going on?” I shrieked and leaped to my feet. The fox stared at me and I could see the confusion in his dark eyes.

  Achilles jumped from the recliner and came over to investigate, growling as he moved.

  “Sawyer, is it you?” I crept back to the sofa and kneeled beside him. The fox said nothing. He turned and hid under a pillow, his tail billowing behind him.

  Achilles seemed confused, barking and then stopping. I lifted the dog and carried him to the laundry room, shutting the door between us. Whatever was happening, it was best to keep the two animals apart.

  I returned to the sofa, my heart thundering in my chest. Anger simmered beneath the surface as I realized what likely happened. My family must’ve discovered our secret and acted accordingly. I knew we shouldn’t have gone anywhere in public. It had been foolish on my part.

  “They won’t get away with this,” I said. I clenched my hands, ready to spit fire. I lifted the pillow to address the fox. “Listen, Sawyer. I need you to stay here. Do not leave the house for any reason. I’m going to take Achilles somewhere safe and get you turned back as soon as I can.”

  I kissed the top of his furry head and hurried into the kitchen. I filled a bowl with water and set it on the floor. Then I rummaged around for appropriate food. He had a full belly right now, but he’d be hungry come morning. I located blueberries and carrots and dumped them into another bowl, setting it beside the water.

  “I promise I’ll be back,” I called. “Please stay put for your own safety.” I retrieved Achilles from the laundry room and held the pug against my chest, speaking to him in soothing tones. “We’re going for a ride, buddy. Try to stay calm.”

  Under the cover of darkness, I spread my black wings—one of my nonrefundable gifts from the gods—and flew to Neville’s place to deliver the dog. Desperate times called for desperate measures. The wizard was understandably shocked by the arrival of the pug, but he took it in stride. I flew back to my car in town and drove home to Munster Close, my hands shaking on the wheel. I had to take care with how I approached this with my family in the off chance they weren’t responsible. I could picture my mother now, snickering behind her white wine spritzer over the clever choice of a fox.

  I parked in front of the house and hurried up the steps to the porch. Princess Buttercup was waiting for me when I opened the door. Although she looked like a well-fed Great Dane to humans, she was actually a hellhound I rescued from an unhappy fate outside the entrance to the underworld.

  I stroked her head. “Can you tell I’m seething? Yes, I am.” I spoke in a singsong voice so as not to upset her. The last thing I needed was a hellhound spewing fire and brimstone in the farmhouse on my behalf.

  I marched into the kitchen and found my great-aunt alone at the table sipping a cup of hot water with lemon and honey. She leafed through a magazine with mild interest.

  “Where is everyone?” I asked, trying to maintain a casual air.

  She glanced up. “Good evening, Eden. Your mother’s on a date and your grandmother went to bed early. She was tired from all that screen time earlier.”

  “More Little Critters?” Grandma was obsessed with a game app on her phone that involved walking around town and collecting creatures.

  “There was an event downtown today,” Aunt Thora said. “I think she was on her feet too long.”

  Hmm. If they weren’t even together, it seemed unlikely that they were responsible for the chief’s transformation. I needed more information, so I slid into the chair across from Aunt Thora.

  “Were they together earlier today?” I asked.

  Aunt Thora absently brought her cup of tea to her lips. “They live here. Of course they were.” She turned back to her magazine. “They were both here for breakfast, but your grandmother was gone most of the day.”

  Although it could have been an attempt to create an alibi, I didn’t think the witches in my house were responsible. Aunt Thora wasn’t a great liar and she’d know if they’d been up to something. She’d also be aware if they knew about the chief and me. The fear would be written all over her face.

  “Who’s Mom out with tonight?” I asked. I had to feign interest or I’d burst with anxiety over the chief’s transformation.

  “Some banker nam
ed Rudy.” She placed a lemon wedge into her mouth and sucked out the remainder of the juice.

  “Did you know that lemons are actually a cross between bitter oranges and citrons?” I asked. “They’re a freak of nature.”

  Aunt Thora looked at me askance. “I beg your pardon?”

  “It’s true,” I said. “And I’m sure you’ll say that the simple fact doesn’t stop them from being the most glorious of all the fruits.”

  The older witch stared at me. “Do you get all your information from the internet?”

  “What makes you ask that?”

  “I’m fairly certain that lemons are native to India,” she said. “While the Meyer lemon is a hybrid from the United States, lemons in general are not what I would consider freaks of nature.”

  Huh. Consider me schooled.

  “Do you know where my mom went on her date?” I asked. I tried to calculate whether I had enough time to do a quick sweep of her room, just to be thorough. With Grandma asleep in her room, I couldn’t check there.

  “Baltimore by the sound of it. She said not to be alarmed if she didn’t come home tonight, as though we’d ever worry about her safety.” She snorted.

  “No, definitely not.” I pretended to yawn. “It’s been a long day. I think I’ll turn in too.” I started toward my mother’s room.

  “Eden, how tired are you?” Aunt Thora called. “The attic is that way.” She jabbed a thumb over her shoulder.

  I gave an awkward laugh. “I’m clearly exhausted.” I climbed the attic steps to my makeshift bedroom. “Alice,” I hissed, but there was no response. “Alice!”

  “You rang?” Alice Wentworth drifted into view. The ghost had inhabited what had once been her family’s farmhouse since her death over two hundred years ago.

  “Can you do me a favor? I need you to scope out my mother’s room and Grandma’s room and see whether there’s any evidence of a spell.”

  Alice reeled back. “You want me to voluntarily sneak around their bedrooms? Do you think I have a death wish?”

  “You’re already dead.”

  Alice seemed unpersuaded. “Even so.”

  “My mother’s out and Grandma’s asleep. Besides, it’s not like she can see you if she wakes up.” The ability to see and speak to Alice was one of my fury powers, not a witchy one.